Incredibly Ellie

For those of you know me, I've been through some health issues this year. For those who don't know me, I've been through some health issues this year. It started back around the New Year when the flu was really bad and I worked with kids from all around the country all winter in Colorado teaching ski lessons. I got sick. I couldn't work because I was sick, I didn't make money, and then I got anxiety about not being able to pay bills because I was sick and not being able to work. That stress lead to my immune system being depleted and as soon as I started feeling better and working again, I got sick...again. And that is when the viscous cycle started. I applied for a job here in Flagstaff to get me home so I could take care of myself and heal. I was so sure I was going to get the job because of my major and my internship. I did not get the job. That hurt. I was so set about going home and healing, so I decided to go home anyway. That was hard. I had made a family i...

Lately, I've been having some deep conversations with some really amazing people who have either been in my life for some time, or have just entered my life. And those conversations have helped me realize some things. The biggest one, is a concept I like to call our personal factory settings. When we were kids, we were ourselves with no apologizes. We said weird things, we dreamed without limits, we dressed to express ourselves. We were who we were supposed to be before society got their constricting hands on us, telling us what to say, wear, look and act like, and who to love. We loved to move, play, create, sing, learn, and explore. That is who we are supposed to be. When I was about two years old, my parents asked me what I wanted to be for Halloween. I took my pacifier out of my mouth to respond, "A Christmas tree!" Their response was, "No, you're going to be a ballerina!" I'm sure I didn't think much of it, seeing as I was only two years old...