Incredibly Ellie

Back in my junior year of college, I was in my core classes for my emphasis in Outdoor Education and Leadership. It was spring semester and I was taking 18 units. But 12 of those units were what we called a block semester. I spent my Tuesday and Thursday evening in class for two and a half hours, cramming in 4 courses at once, and the end of the semester, we would embark on a 17 day backpacking trip. The semester was busy. My life consisted of only work and that class. I didn't know anything else during those four months. Now don't get me wrong. The classes were amazing. We spent a lot of time outside and our cohort got very close. We were a family. There were early mornings and late nights working together getting ready to spend 17 in New Mexico learning all we could about guiding. When the day before the trip came, I was freaking out. And in part, that sabotaged the trip for me. Although, the first six days were challenging but fun. I felt comfortable. It was challenging

For those of you know me, I've been through some health issues this year. For those who don't know me, I've been through some health issues this year. It started back around the New Year when the flu was really bad and I worked with kids from all around the country all winter in Colorado teaching ski lessons. I got sick. I couldn't work because I was sick, I didn't make money, and then I got anxiety about not being able to pay bills because I was sick and not being able to work. That stress lead to my immune system being depleted and as soon as I started feeling better and working again, I got sick...again. And that is when the viscous cycle started. I applied for a job here in Flagstaff to get me home so I could take care of myself and heal. I was so sure I was going to get the job because of my major and my internship. I did not get the job. That hurt. I was so set about going home and healing, so I decided to go home anyway. That was hard. I had made a family i

Lately, I've been having some deep conversations with some really amazing people who have either been in my life for some time, or have just entered my life. And those conversations have helped me realize some things. The biggest one, is a concept I like to call our personal factory settings. When we were kids, we were ourselves with no apologizes. We said weird things, we dreamed without limits, we dressed to express ourselves. We were who we were supposed to be before society got their constricting hands on us, telling us what to say, wear, look and act like, and who to love. We loved to move, play, create, sing, learn, and explore. That is who we are supposed to be. When I was about two years old, my parents asked me what I wanted to be for Halloween. I took my pacifier out of my mouth to respond, "A Christmas tree!" Their response was, "No, you're going to be a ballerina!" I'm sure I didn't think much of it, seeing as I was only two years old

Skiing has always been a huge part of my life, but this winter, I have fallen in love with it all over again. I have a new outlook on skiing, one I didn't know I could have. I've been skiing for as long as I can remember and it was always the highlight of the year going on our annual family ski trip. We would get up early and be on the mountain as soon as it opened. At the time, I hated waking up early every day while we were on vacation, but now that I look back at it, I'm happy that I was pushed to ski all day. Those vacations dwindled as us kids got older and entered college and high school, but we still found a way to slide around on the snow for at least a couple days during the winter. But this winter...it's all different. Being paid to teach others how to ski and help them fall in love with the sport like we have, we had to better our own ski skills. I entered the job not knowing what they were going to teach us. Not only did they teach us how to teach others